Why I was Afraid of Setting High Goals for Myself

Six weeks ago I started working out with free weights at the gym. This was a natural evolution that I was really resisting. When I first joined the gym I simply got on the elliptical machine because it was very low commitment and the machine didn't talk about what bad shape I was in.

Then I found the courage to attend a Kick Boxing class. It was a serious mental challenge to be one of two men in a class of 40 woman of all ages, shapes, and sizes.

The instructor was impressed with my weight loss progress and encouraged me to start lifting weights to put the finishing touch on my new body.

I had a script in my head that the free weight section of the gym was a place that I didn't belong. I prevented myself to go there. I wasn't until I was coached, cajoled, and escorted into this new world that I was able to re-write the script in my head that it was acceptable for me to work out there.

After six weeks, I'm not friends with a lot of the regulars in that part of the gym at the time that I go. Instead of the negativity I expected, I was welcomed and two people commented on the positive work I had done losing weight. Now that I know how to use the machines, ask others to use equipment and go with the flow, I'm very comfortable there.

So what is different about me? It wasn't anything physical. The gym didn't change, my body hasn't changed that much, but my attitudes have changed. I went from not belonging to belongings. The journey was in my mind and how I interpreted the outside world. Once I was aware of the limitations I set on myself, I could make a decision to change the limitation into an advantage.

Bringing Focused Awareness to a Goal

After six weeks of lifting weights, I have finally figured out how to bring a focused awareness to the goal. After going to the gym for 8 months, the free weight section of the gym was the final frontier. I had a limiting factor in my head that I allowed myself to believe, "I don't belong in that section of the gym. I'm not a muscle head. I'm not worthy enough to use that equipment. I do not know what I'm doing, and people will laugh at me."





I read many books on physical fitness and understood the exercises, but carrying a book into the free weight section was not a comfort. It wasn't until I had a coach that told me I needed to lift, and he would help me learn how to do it safely, that I finally crossed the line.

The first week of lifting used a very light weight to get my body used to doing the motions as it was all new to me.

The second week, we added more weight until I could only do the recommended three to four sets of 8 to 12 repetitions.

The third week, was my first "set back week". I had a chest cold and couldn't lift as much weight or work as hard as the previous weeks. I had to let go of the amount of weight and focus on working as hard as my body would allow. My Type A personality had to accept that in the big picture you can bring 100% everyday to your effort. Sometimes just enough is all right.

The fourth week my coach starting putting on more weight. He put on so much weight that I couldn't start the motion of the exercise. I laughed, "what are you doing." "Come on, lift it, I'll help you," he said. He would spot me through the range of motion and give just a little bit of help to start and finish the motion. And he would help a little more to get the last few repetitions out.

It was in the third or fourth repetition that I looked up and noticed his hands were not on the bar. I was lifting the entire weight under my own strength. What was going on here? This is where I clarified the goal. Was my goal to lift a certain "x" amount of weight? Was it to do "x" amount of repetitions?

My goal was to work my muscle to the point of failure multiple times.

Once that was clear, I could let go of how much weight was on the bar. I could let go of how much help my coach was giving me. I didn't worry about how much weight everyone else was lifting.

Now, I close my eyes and focus my attention on the muscle that I am working. I "see" it working in my mind's eye. I see the lactic acid building up as the pain increases, but I let go of the pain. To keep my Type A brain happy, I see a LED display with five green, two yellow, and one red light that pulses as I lift. I see the red light now when my muscles are exhausted. When I feel like quiting early, I force the display down out of the yellow zone and tell myself I'm still green and I can go for a few more repetitions.

When you clarify and focus on the goal, it empowers you to let go of all the distractions and issues that get in the way. Bringing awareness to what you are doing right now, will give more strength than you currently think you have.