Inner Game of Work: Book Review

This book was recommended by Jeff Staggs an Executive Coach. Wow, was a great read. If we get our ACT (Awareness, Choice, and Trust) together we can set off on a better path in personal and work lives. In our work lives if we can balance; learning, enjoyment, and performance we will feel a greater fulfillment in our lives. While out on our journey we need to stop and smell the roses. STOP (Step Back, Think, Organize your thoughts, Proceed) at the beginning, middle, and end of our days at work and home we can feel more focused and in control of where we spend our time. Finally he talks about thinking like we are the CEO our ourselves and we need to take inventory of ourselves like we were a corporation. Here coaching can make a big impact as a coach serves as a mirror to reflect back our current state. The coach also offers questions to design an ideal state and removes blocks from getting there. I have over 20 dog eared pages and now I wish I purchased this book for Kindle instead of borrowing it from the library. This one is a real keeper!

Have a New Kid by Friday: Book Review

A mother of 6 girls turned me on to this book and it was defiantly a winner. The book is a reality check for parents who want and can give their kids anything they want but desire good behavior. Reshaping your thinking to the simple, "B doesn't happen until A is complete" is very powerful. We do so much for our kids and we need to be willing to walk away from a situation and take away a privilege in order to teach good character and behavior.

The book covers how to deal with slamming doors, drugs, not eating, shyness, showing off, and bullying. All the topics that eventually show up in parenting and catch most parents off guard. Now when I catch my kid stealing a pair a jeans or a candy bar, I know how to suppress my embarrassment and make my child face the music!

I was really impressed about how to handle a curfew. Instead of the parent setting a specific time, tell the child, "Be home at a reasonable hour." Let the child figure out what "reasonable" means to them. You'll be surprised at how often its earlier than the time you were thinking!

Here's the top 10 list from the back of the book.

10. Be 100 percent consistent in your behavior.
9. Always follow through on what you say you will do.
8. Respond, don't react
7. Count to 10 and ask yourself, "What would my old self do in this situation? What should the new me do?"
6. Never threaten your kids.
5. Never get angry. (When you do get angry, apologize quickly.)
4. Don't give any warnings. (If you warn a child, you're saying, "You're so stupid, I have to tell you twice.")
3. Ask yourself, "Whose problem is this?" (Don't own it if it isn't yours.)
2. Don't think the misbehavior will go away.
1. Keep the happy face on, even when you want to...do something else.

The essence of parenting can be boiled down to this simple equation: "B doesn't happen until A is complete!"

I met Matthew, while on a trip aboard a chartered dive boat to the sunken


artificial wreck site, the USS Spiegel Grove.



Located in the deep blue waters, about a one hour boat ride offshore, from

Key Largo, Florida.



As I contemplated the personal challenge on my 53rd birthday to apply my

acquired skills and certifications with the boat captain, about my interest

in descending down to the propeller, on the underside of this massive ship,

and at a depth of about 135 feet, the captain introduced me to Matthew, and

whom to my good fortune, was planning to dive and explore that particular

location of this sunken ship, along with his wife Andrea, on this dive trip.



I credit Mathew, for making this one of the most memorable and enjoyable

experiences of my life. His professional approach and attitude, along with a

meticulous attention for detail combined with his excellent inter-personal

leadership & coaching skills, gave me the trust and confidence in myself, to

go for it.



As a business owner, I have incorporated Mathew's, can do approach &

attitude, into my daily business practices, which has noticeably increased

and created an exciting and positive energy, resulting in my generating new

and additional business, and many more satisfied customers.

Thanks Matt!

Regards

Carlos Menocal, P.A.
Lic. Real Estate Broker

Hobo Matt: A day without pavement

A day without pavement
Originally uploaded by Hobo Matt

This is a different Matt. He left NY months ago to walk across the country. This shot in North Dakota is amazing. He is in Montana now in the home stretch to Oregon. Check out his photos on Flickr.

Hobo Matt: A day without pavement

A day without pavement
Originally uploaded by Hobo Matt

This is a different Matt. He left NY months ago to walk across the country. This shot in North Dakota is amazing. He is in Montana now in the home stretch to Oregon. Check out his photos on Flickr.

Life Coach: Recommendation from Father Sandoval

I have known Matthew and his wonderful family for over four years now. He is a benefit to his church and is always ready to lead a helping hand. His inspirational readings of the lessons during the service uplifts the whole congregation! I highly encouraged Matthew to investigate going into the priesthood. He has the rare gift to listen and lead at the same time. Matthew serves on the vestry and is the chair of the Stewardship Committee. His first pledge drive resulted in a 15% increase in overall pledges for the church. I'm very happy that Matthew has taken up the profession of Executive Coaching because his gifts need to be shared with others. I would highly recommend him to my friends and fellow doctors at the hospital.

Father Carlos Sandoval, M.D.
Rector, Saint Simon's Episcopal Church
Canon of Health, Episcopal Diocese of Southeast Florida
Psychiatrist

Why I was Afraid of Setting High Goals for Myself

Six weeks ago I started working out with free weights at the gym. This was a natural evolution that I was really resisting. When I first joined the gym I simply got on the elliptical machine because it was very low commitment and the machine didn't talk about what bad shape I was in.

Then I found the courage to attend a Kick Boxing class. It was a serious mental challenge to be one of two men in a class of 40 woman of all ages, shapes, and sizes.

The instructor was impressed with my weight loss progress and encouraged me to start lifting weights to put the finishing touch on my new body.

I had a script in my head that the free weight section of the gym was a place that I didn't belong. I prevented myself to go there. I wasn't until I was coached, cajoled, and escorted into this new world that I was able to re-write the script in my head that it was acceptable for me to work out there.

After six weeks, I'm not friends with a lot of the regulars in that part of the gym at the time that I go. Instead of the negativity I expected, I was welcomed and two people commented on the positive work I had done losing weight. Now that I know how to use the machines, ask others to use equipment and go with the flow, I'm very comfortable there.

So what is different about me? It wasn't anything physical. The gym didn't change, my body hasn't changed that much, but my attitudes have changed. I went from not belonging to belongings. The journey was in my mind and how I interpreted the outside world. Once I was aware of the limitations I set on myself, I could make a decision to change the limitation into an advantage.

Entrepreneur Coaching: Akin Body Painting

Since I started these "Entrepreneur Coaching" sessions, I have noticed that my work priorities are clearer. I have learned some time management strategies and prioritization so that I can achieve an equilibrium between my personal life and my work life.

I definitely recommend that you use this time to modify behaviors that interfere with reaching your goals. The fact that you know someone is waiting to listen makes you achieve the goals, which you set out in the prior session.

I also would like to add that Matthew, my coach, has made a great effort to understand my basic English, he has demonstrated utmost respect and attention in order to understand the meaning of my sentences.

Thank you, Matthew, for giving me your time and assistance in something so important to me!
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Desde que inicie estas sesiones de “Consejería en Negocios” he notado que tengo más claridad en mis prioridades laborales; he aprendido algunas estrategias para organizar mis tiempos y determinar mis jerarquías, tratando de encontrar un equilibrio personal y laboral.

Definitivamente recomiendo ampliamente que utilicen este tiempo para modificar conductas que puedan estar interfiriendo en que no logren sus objetivos. El simple hecho de saber que alguien te espera para ser escuchado hace que concretices los acuerdos a los que llegaste en tu última sesión.

Quisiera agregar que mi consejero Matthew en todo momento se ha esforzado en entender mi inglés básico demostrando respeto y toda su atención para comprender el significado de mis oraciones.

¡Gracias Matthew por darme tu tiempo y apoyo en algo que es tan importante para mí!

Erika Monroy
AKIN Body Painting

Bringing Focused Awareness to a Goal

After six weeks of lifting weights, I have finally figured out how to bring a focused awareness to the goal. After going to the gym for 8 months, the free weight section of the gym was the final frontier. I had a limiting factor in my head that I allowed myself to believe, "I don't belong in that section of the gym. I'm not a muscle head. I'm not worthy enough to use that equipment. I do not know what I'm doing, and people will laugh at me."





I read many books on physical fitness and understood the exercises, but carrying a book into the free weight section was not a comfort. It wasn't until I had a coach that told me I needed to lift, and he would help me learn how to do it safely, that I finally crossed the line.

The first week of lifting used a very light weight to get my body used to doing the motions as it was all new to me.

The second week, we added more weight until I could only do the recommended three to four sets of 8 to 12 repetitions.

The third week, was my first "set back week". I had a chest cold and couldn't lift as much weight or work as hard as the previous weeks. I had to let go of the amount of weight and focus on working as hard as my body would allow. My Type A personality had to accept that in the big picture you can bring 100% everyday to your effort. Sometimes just enough is all right.

The fourth week my coach starting putting on more weight. He put on so much weight that I couldn't start the motion of the exercise. I laughed, "what are you doing." "Come on, lift it, I'll help you," he said. He would spot me through the range of motion and give just a little bit of help to start and finish the motion. And he would help a little more to get the last few repetitions out.

It was in the third or fourth repetition that I looked up and noticed his hands were not on the bar. I was lifting the entire weight under my own strength. What was going on here? This is where I clarified the goal. Was my goal to lift a certain "x" amount of weight? Was it to do "x" amount of repetitions?

My goal was to work my muscle to the point of failure multiple times.

Once that was clear, I could let go of how much weight was on the bar. I could let go of how much help my coach was giving me. I didn't worry about how much weight everyone else was lifting.

Now, I close my eyes and focus my attention on the muscle that I am working. I "see" it working in my mind's eye. I see the lactic acid building up as the pain increases, but I let go of the pain. To keep my Type A brain happy, I see a LED display with five green, two yellow, and one red light that pulses as I lift. I see the red light now when my muscles are exhausted. When I feel like quiting early, I force the display down out of the yellow zone and tell myself I'm still green and I can go for a few more repetitions.

When you clarify and focus on the goal, it empowers you to let go of all the distractions and issues that get in the way. Bringing awareness to what you are doing right now, will give more strength than you currently think you have.

Weight Training for Dummies Book Review

http://weread.com/review/Weight+Training+for+Dummies+%28For+Dummies%29/3225695

Dummies books are either great or not. It often depends on whether you have any experience on the topic? After a few weeks of weight training with a personal trainer, this book didn't give me any new insights or background that I was missing. Its another shot gun overview of a huge topic. Definitely a renter from the library.

Book Review: Getting Started in Personal and Executive Coaching

I signed up for a class without first researching the business aspects of coaching. This book really helped put the process of starting a practice and the expectations of work and results in perspective. The author make some strong points about marketing and technology that are good, but NOT universal rules or truths by any means. Good marketing and hiring professionals to work on your image is good, full color business cards are not mandatory by any means. The bits on technology and costs have already changed sharply from this book's publication. This was a great book to read, and now I'll go back through the process of establishing a marketing plan and working on my pitches for coaching services.

Reviews by Matthew Hoelscher weRead

Career Coaching: Keep Up the Good Work!

The first day of coaching class we were told to coach, "anyone who will let us listen to them!" I found that it wasn't to hard to find people. Once you experience being truly listened to, its addictive!

The feeling of lightness and relief is difficult to measure, but the feeling is real and genuine. I received my first thanks from the significant other of a career coaching client.

She found her job less than satisfying and more stressful with a large implementation underway. They live off of a canal and both love the ocean. She found going for an hour or two of stand up paddle boarding makes it all seem worth while.

Sometimes its not our job, but how we spend the fruits of our labors that is most important in life!

Toastmasters International

Several people have asked me about practicing English, and I wanted to share a great resource - Toastmasters International.

http://reports.toastmasters.org/findaclub/

Toastmasters is a club that usually meets once a week at varying times of day based on the club. The dues are about $6 a month plus materials in the $10-$20 range, and the experience is excellent.

The meeting is based on three parts:

1. Prepared speeches for 5-7 minutes

2. Evaluations of the speeches for 2-3 minutes

3. Table Topics, Impromptu Speaking on a random topic for 1-2 minutes.

Upon joining the club, you will start down the path of "Competent Toastmaster" or CTM, which is completing the first 10 speeches. Each speech has a specific goal such as: organization, vocal variety, using props, or practicing gestures. You can speak about any topic you like, excluding religion, politics, and sex.

For anyone who has English as a second language, its a great place to practice listening and speaking English in a warm, safe, and positive environment.

Over the course of four years, I gave at least 30 prepared speeches, 75 evaluations, and 100 table topics. The bi-yearly contests let me practice speaking to new audiences including more than 300 people, when I went to the state-wide competition.

Great public speaking skills are useful everyday and lead to a deeper self-confidence that makes for a happier life. I highly recommend it!

Reviews by Matthew Hoelscher | weRead

Reviews by Matthew Hoelscher weRead: "You posted a review at 2010-06-10 02:29:01 for Law and Ethics in Coaching: How to Solve and Avoid Difficult Problems in Your Practice: How to Solve and Avoid Difficult Problems in Your Practice. (Language: English)
This was a required book for my coaching class. It was very good in giving background of coaching. How its different from psychology and the counseling arts. Then the legal and ethical implications of the difference. Coaching for business and personal is a new budding branch of self-help. Therefore they isn't a lot of legal precedent and as there are more coaches and coaching becomes more mainstream there will be challenges ahead. The key is that there are organizations with a vision for the profession that are organized and fighting for the future of coaching as they see it."

To be ComplainLess...

From justsell.com

To be ComplainLess...

Be aware.

Recognize your typical paths to complaining - what (who) sparks your tendency to gripe. Minimize your exposure to them (eliminating those 'sparks' altogether may not always be realistic or the best thing). Know that your grumbling is a complete waste of energy.

Be thankful.

Regularly reflect on all the good in your life (people, opportunities, things). Understand and enjoy how lucky you really are. Be entitled to nothing.

Pause before you begin.

Clip a complaint as you feel it coming. Put a smile or thoughtful statement in its path. Blame no one.

Blame nothing.

Be accountable. Focus on solving problems rather than having them. Set the example for others and recommit when you slip. Care for yourself and create a positive habit.

University of Miami Executive Coaching Program

Accepted into the University of Miami Executive Coaching Program, I set five goals for the new year.

1. Get a job
2. Learn to trade stock options and covered calls. (X)
3. Read 50 books. (Subset of my read 500 books in 10 years goal) (X)
4. Lose 25lbs (X)
5. Run 5K in under 30 minutes. (X)

The only one I have yet to accomplish is #1. After many interviews I can't see myself going back to work as a sales person for someone else. I need to sell me via my own company.

I've been accepted into the University of Miami Executive Coaching program. I look forward to using this 5 month program as the foundation of a new professional service company providing coaching to executives and business owners around Miami and anywhere else!